Life on Ten

From Sleepless Schedules To Stolen Minutes: How Time Poverty Drains Health And Joy

• Vanessa Walker and Angela Trapp • Season 4 • Episode 12

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We unpack time poverty, the invisible squeeze that steals discretionary hours and erodes health, and map the cultural and structural drivers that push it hardest onto women. We share practical tools to buy back time, protect sleep, and keep prevention easy.

• clear definition of time poverty and discretionary time
• examples of unpaid labor and invisible workload
• health impacts including stress, anxiety and decision fatigue
• gender norms and how roles shape expectations
• structural drivers like long commutes and rigid schedules
• remote work, meeting times and workplace design
• practical fixes for sleep, batching and automation
• micro workouts, walking meetings and time blocking
• cutting context switching and batching messages
• prevention on autopilot with digital health tools

As always, live your life on 10. Your 10.


SPEAKER_01:

Hello and welcome to Life on 10. Hello, friends. Hello, family, hello world. It is Angela and I am here with my lovely co-host, Vanessa. Hi guys, how is everyone doing? I am hoping that everyone is living their life on 10. Yes. Whatever that may look like. So today, super excited about this topic that Vanessa is going to introduce. I want to hear all about it. And I will chime in when I feel compelled. Soon I feel compelled.

SPEAKER_00:

No, you know, I I just was I was thinking about you know all the things there's we always we always kind of talk on the show about you know different ways or uh you know things that you could do to make make yourself healthy or trying to help crack myths or something, right? Like we always we we like to have you know some type of event, but we also have talked about ways in which sometimes I think um women are disproportionately affected by certain things. And one of them was this concept of time poverty. And I had never heard of this before. I think about I thought it was a super intriguing I when you think about it, you're like, oh yeah, I totally get what you're talking about. But time poverty is a look at, let's look at your 24 hours in a day, right? There's only 24 hours in a day for you to live your life. So you've got 24 hours. You're let's say you're getting a good night's sleep. You're sleeping eight of those hours, right? That that would be amazing if you're sleeping eight of those hours.

SPEAKER_01:

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00:

I now now I I apparently have an amazing sleep because I I do sleep about seven, eight hours every night. Like I make it a priority for me.

SPEAKER_01:

But that's awesome. Not everybody does that. I get wait till you go through menopause.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, there I have something to look forward to, right? Go ahead. Um, so you've got that. You have you're sleeping. So there you've knocked eight hours out of your day, right? Then it's time to wake up. And depending on your situation in life, if you're a young, you know, 19-year-old college student living footloose and fancy-free, completely different situation, right? Time poverty isn't really a thing for you. But if you're a 45-year-old mom with two and a half kids and, you know, a variety of things, or let's say you're not a mom. Let's say you're a daughter who's helping to manage aging parents, or you have a very, you know, high-level stress job, or let's say you don't have a job, and let's say every day you are living paychecked, or you know, you're you're struggling to find work, right? Or you have three jobs, and you have the unpaid work of laundry, doing the dishes, cleaning the toilets, making sure that somebody gets to soccer practice, making sure that so-and-so gets their medications picked up, right? All of the things that you don't get paid to do, but that there are some human beings out there that do get paid to do. They're called personal assistants, maids, chefs, chauffeurs, you name it, all the things that we do in our families, they get other people get paid to do them. And so it's just looking at all of that stuff that is uh leading to this concept of time poverty, which is a chronically lacking discretionary time. So, what's discretionary time? Yeah, discretionary time is the time for you to be you, the time for you to read that book about vampires and sexy ladies, if that's your thing, right? Or to um practice yoga or to practice mindfulness in some way, meditate, go for a run because you want to get more healthy, do some yoga stretching, what whatever it is that you want to do, learn how to paint, sleep more, right? Like whatever it is that you want to do, if you have all of these other things that are eating up your life between job and whatever, that's what time poverty is. It's it's people who don't have discretionary time to do what they want and need to do.

SPEAKER_01:

So, how does one you know rectify that? How do you correct that? What are some of the things that you can do? Um, because I could I just I'm picturing, you know, you talked about women. So I'm picturing women and who have full-time, very demanding jobs and may have children as well. And they're doing all the things, you know, they're coming home. Uh I'm gonna give you a perfect example. I had just had a flashback. My mom was a kindergarten teacher when she started off, and she had three little girls at the time, and I can remember her coming home from teaching school, changing her clothes, and going straight into the kitchen and start cooking. Yeah. And after the cook, and then it was the three girls, right? So she was cooking, um, monitoring the homework, yeah. Everybody eats dinner, and everyone is prep and ready for bed, everyone's in bed, and she is the last person to lay her head down because she's prepping for the next day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Because she knows how bad the next day is gonna be if she doesn't.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. So, where was her time? Yeah, you know, I'm just like, when did she have time to breathe? To good question.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe she parked her car on the way home. Maybe it only took 10 minutes to get home, but it really took 20 because she sat in a parking lot and breathed or cried for 20 minutes. Who knows, right?

SPEAKER_01:

But that is an example of time party. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

That is an that is an exact, and so but before we get into what to do about it, why does it matter? Right. So if you look at the how how time poverty affects health, it affects your mental health. I mean, number one, if you are chronically stressed and you are you don't have the time to unwind or to do the things that help make you you, right? You're it's gonna, it's gonna affect your stress, it's gonna affect your mental health. It's gonna lead to higher stress, anxiety, depressive symptoms, um, things like decision fatigue, irritability, and just kind of a lower cognitive bandwidth. What does that mean? Well, you know, at the end of the day, when one of your kids walks, like it's it's the end of your day, right? Like you've done it all, you've solved all the world's problems, you've made the dinner, you've done the homework, you've done everything. And then they ask you that one last question, and your brain's like, nope, I'm done. Cannot come up with anything even remotely helpful. And they end up the next day, you know, you because of that answer that didn't go well, they wore a shirt to school that they shouldn't have worn. Or they you you set them up for a play date that wasn't supposed to happen, or you know what I mean? Like you just don't have the bandwidth to make the decisions anymore. That happens, and that and that happens to people. And I'm not trying to say it doesn't happen to men.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

By any means. There are plenty of men who where the roles are reversed, they are the primary bread, they're they they don't have or they don't have a partner, they're single dads, they're whatever. It's just that the reason why it's this is sticking out more for women is because societally women are expected to do these things. It's like, you know, when my husband would take my children out to the store, people would be like, Oh, how cute your babysitting, the kids, and it would make him so mad.

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_00:

Because he's like, No, I'm raising them. And I'm getting, I'm foraging for sustenance. Like, I'm doing everything that that mom over there pushing the kid and the snotty one, and he's like, I'm doing the same thing, and no one's given her a freaking parade. Right? Oh, yeah, that's so that's a that's a perfect Robert. Exactly. Like, no, I'm raising them. Yeah, this is not, you know, why don't you ask my wife? She she she sees them every once in a while. Because Robert raised these kids, he spent the majority of the time with our children. There's I'm gonna give that man everything that he is due. Yes, um, yes, and obviously I can't.

SPEAKER_01:

So here, so but so here's the thing. What you just said, I'm gonna give him everything that he is due. How many men reverse the role who work outside the home? They're you know, they're the dominant breadwinner. Yeah, and the mom is home doing all the things. I just wonder how many men hold that whole concept that you have. I'm gonna, he deserves it all, I'm gonna give it all. Or are they like doing what she's supposed to do? That's what women supposed to do. I'm working, I'm out here hustling, I'm out here doing, you know, making the money. I'm the breadwoman, I'm the provider. That is what she's supposed to do. Yeah. Versus the way you're looking at it is with such gratitude and appreciation.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Because he's doing all the things that other people get paid for: the chauffeuring, the nanny, the cooking, that like he's doing all the things that if he weren't here, I would have to pay five different people to do for me. Yeah, so I wholeheartedly recognize that. He, and it's you know, he chose to give up his career to do this. So I also recognize the sacrifice he made because in the male world, that is seen as weakness, that is seen as unmasculine and less than unfortunately. So he has to suffer society's opinion of him that he's a weak man who's home while his wife is out with the career and paying the bills. And the it's in my opinion, a man who's completely um comfortable with his own masculinity that can say, no, I'm a good father and a good husband, and I take care of my children, and I take care of my wife, and I do all the things. And we as a family support our children and support each other.

SPEAKER_01:

So so Robert is what I call, you know, he's an independent person. He knows who he is.

SPEAKER_00:

He he doesn't need the world to define his worth or his value. Correct. He's definitely he there he does not require anybody telling him, good job, or he he's he's always been very self-reliant on that. He's kind of had to. He's always just been, it's just how how he was raised. He's always had to be self-reliant on his own worth um because he didn't have the characteristics that typical males had. So he wasn't all the things that a typical male was supposed to be. He doesn't wasn't good at sports. He wasn't good, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01:

Like he wasn't stereotypical males.

SPEAKER_00:

And and growing up in the south, oh he didn't hunt and shoot. He didn't hunt and shoot, he hated all that. That's what I'm saying. He was so for him, he never met the bar of what a man was supposed to be in the south. And so he's always had to take his own. Now it took a lot. He it was his self-esteem was not anywhere near was the when I first met him, he had zero self-esteem. Yeah, he's built his self-esteem up over time. Obviously, I've helped him. I would like to think that I've helped him because I do he he gets what he needs from me. Yeah, right. I'm the one that provides him that love and that praise. And I, you know, so he he probably bears more of the I I won't say that he's got a lot of time poverty though, because because he does not work outside of the home, when the kids are at school, he has quite a bit of time to do what he needs to do to take care of himself. He's got lots of hobbies and things like that that bring him joy. So um he does not have that between the two of us. I am definitely the one with the time poverty.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

However, I derive such joy from my work and from my family.

SPEAKER_01:

Because you're an icky guy.

SPEAKER_00:

I am, I'm an icky guy. We've, you know, at that perfect intersection of what I do well, what brings me joy, what the world needs, and what I can get paid for. I mean, man, it feels good to be here.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yes, yes, and and it you radiate with that, Vanessa. It's you are such a different person from when I met you years ago. Yeah. Like it just shows. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I'm glad. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00:

But some of the other things I wanted to bring up about the um health effects of chronic of uh time of time poverty, um, is that it leads to chronic activation of our stress systems. So that chronic sympathetic nervous system up and running, which raises your cortisol levels. It leads to what's called a scarcity mindset. So it narrows the focus to immediate demands. You don't have the ability to think about what's possible.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You have to think about what's what do I need, what's right in front of me. So it reduces the planning and and your self-control because you're just like, I just I can't think about tomorrow. I have to just think about what's happening right in front of me. You're in survival mode all the time. You're all the time. Opportunity costs, self-care, exercise, cooking, and sleep are the first to go. So you don't exercise, you don't cook anymore, you're eating fast food, and you're not sleeping. You just start to spiral. It just spirals. Um, and then things that are structural drivers. What are some other things that affect it besides your job, your family, you know, things like that. Things like long commutes, shift work, where you're having to shift between night shift and day shift. That messes you up. Um, low schedule control. So you're at a job where you must show up at this time and you don't get to leave. And so any no flexibility, right? Right. Um, which is why in the workplace, this whole transition to being able to work from home was a winner for women. It was. Women have been able to do things and succeed in the workplace at a level that's probably been unprecedented because they don't have to worry about the drop-offs and the picking up and the things like that because they have that flexibility to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And so women have been advancing in their careers at a much faster pace than previously. Um, there are there are companies that have focused and looked at specifically how can we make our environment better so that women can be more successful? And they've looked at meeting times. How do we get more female executives? Why are there they've looked at it, why are there less female executives? Well, because if you start every meeting early in the morning when they're supposed to be dropping their kids off, they're not gonna be able to make that meeting. And then they're seen as not being dedicated as the man whose wife is dropping them off. Yes, not as serious, not as serious, not so just by shifting the meeting times, some organizations have found that they've been able to engage women more and they can participate more. So it there's just so many ways in which an offering appropriate maternity leave support, on-site daycares, yes, um, lactation rooms that are you know safe and and comfortable and stress-free. These are the things that we can do in society to make it so that women are more successful at work. Um, but that does not address the the whole time poverty concept. So what do you think we can do?

SPEAKER_01:

What can we do? Exactly. Well, you're like, what we got, we gotta figure out. So how do how do yeah? So how do we how do we address this? How do we make it happen?

SPEAKER_00:

So I love this first one. What is it? Protect sleep like a meeting, right? When I have meetings on my calendar that start at 7 a.m., like I'm awake and I'm doing all the things like I cut, I will admit, I cut into my sleep to make that seven o'clock meeting. But if you say no, I I am not going to 7 a.m. meetings because that's going to cut into my sleep. Or if you know you are going to have to do a super early morning meeting, then you need to make that conscious thought of I need to go to bed an hour earlier to make sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, because sleep is that important.

SPEAKER_00:

It is that important. There are studies that are showing that sleep is directly related to your health and your longevity. I believe it. People who don't sleep die sooner. Wow. That's crazy. It is people who don't sleep well have higher risk of getting dementia and Alzheimer's as they age.

SPEAKER_01:

Good Lord. I take care of these hot flashes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Sleep. Girl, go get on an estrogen patch. Um, sleep absolutely matters. It is one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves is protect our sleep. So but I love that. Protect sleep like a meeting. I love it. Um, try, but really try to have fixed going to bed times and wake times. Um, even on weekends. This whole concept of like, oh, catch up on the weekends. It's best to get sleep, just the same sleep every night. That yes, you can quote catch up on sleep. It's never the same. It's never the same. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I remember reading a long time ago.

SPEAKER_00:

They said it's no such thing as catching up on sleep. You're not. Yeah. It's just not happening. Um, batch the essentials. So meal prep, grocery delivery, automate your bills and medication refills. Anything that you can do that makes your life easier that's and automated, do that. Um, buy back time where possible. So put your money where your time, if you have the resources. I realize not everybody's as blessed as I am and they're unable to do that. But if you have the money, obviously, child care swaps, you can work with somebody like, hey, you take the kids after school today on Tuesday and have them at your house, you've got the afternoon free. I like it if they're eating dinner at you know, Jessica's house.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Right? So, I mean, and that way you're helping out another family. That's building community, community. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, cleaning, help, carpooling, all those things where you like you exactly said, community. Um, move, quote, by default. So making movement a part of your day. So meetings aren't just sitting, do walking meetings. Yes. If you're gonna have a one-on-one with somebody, say, hey, why don't we just go? It's beautiful outside. Let's walk and talk. You can have a one-on-one while you're walking.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Um a body in motion stays in motion. Exactly. Exactly. Micro workouts. I went on a tour the other day with some people and everybody was taking the elevators and I went up the stairs. Up and down the stairs. That's right. I just was like, you know, it's easy. And by the time this huge group gets into this elevator and makes it all the way to the top, I'll beat them there. And I did. And you know, it's just any little thing.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so, I want to emphasize that micro workouts are so important because sometimes people do not work out because they the time thing. You're like, oh my gosh, I don't have an hour. I don't have an hour, you don't have to do an hour. Yep. The research shows you can split it up 10, 10, and 10. Get those 30 minutes in. Just get it. Love that.

SPEAKER_00:

Get it done. Get the walking, do the stairs. I do, I don't take elevators, I do stairs everywhere. Park way. They always suggest park at the end of the parking lot. And then you get in your steps in. You get your steps in. Anything you can do to get your steps in, absolutely. Schedule self-care as non-negotiable blocks. Literally block it into your calendar. So, like I have on my thing when I'm meeting with my therapist, that's blocked out. There's no moving that. And then you're like, Can you move? Nope, nope, that schedule does not. My hair, I tell everybody my hair appointments are sacred. You will never interfere with a hair appointment. It's not happening. Because I when you have short hair, especially, like you have to keep it every five days, five weeks, otherwise it grows out and looks shaggy and stupid. And yeah. Um, so like, nope, hair appointments. Um, but really do that. Reduce time drains. So um what they it's called context switching. When you switch in between tasks, the concept of multitasking, yeah, no one's good at multitasking.

SPEAKER_01:

So, so let's pause for one second. The interesting thing about that, 15, 20 years ago, that was on every resume because multi- I'm a great multi-great multitasker. I still hear people say it, and then I do educate them on you don't want to say that in an interview because lo and behold, we found out it doesn't work. It doesn't. Yeah. So go ahead.

SPEAKER_00:

It's it's it's called task switching. Yes. And every time you switch from task to task, you lose time. You have to recalibrate your brain to whatever it is you're doing. So if you're gonna do email catch ups, just do email catch-ups. Just read your emails and write down the things that you need to follow up on. Read, write it down, read, write it down. And then go back and do the things that you said you were gonna do on those emails, right? Because, you know, and it's however you way you want to do it. If that's not work for you, if you want to respond immediately. But if writing an email, that's one thing. But if it says like, oh, I need to schedule, okay, then I'm gonna now make another email to send to Jessica to meet with her later. And then I've got to don't, you're gonna get off track. Just focus on your tasks at hand. Um, so yeah, try to avoid batch your messages. So don't tax, don't eat like nickel and dime yourself on emails. Don't look at emails and then give yourself an hour. Ah, okay. Do all those emails over an hour, then move to another task. But you trying to switch between email and this, and email and this, and email and this, you won't get any of them done well.

SPEAKER_01:

And it the same thing goes with like what it's sounds like the pomadero method.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know what that is, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_01:

It is, it it's that. It's okay. It's blocking time.

SPEAKER_00:

Blocking time, absolutely. It is huge because we're just not great at multitasking. Um, seek structural support. So that whole flexible remote work options, workload renegotiation. If you're if it's just too much for you, you need to, you know, uh talk about what you can do and then use any community resources that you can. And then keep preventive care on autopilot. I absolutely adore this. If you don't take care of yourself, if you don't get your mammogram, missing a couple years could lead to breast cancer caught as a stage four instead of a stage one. Cervical cancer screening, all the things, vaccinations, everything, just have it on autopilot. Make sure that you're responding. Choose a health care system that is good at proactively reaching out to you. Reminding there are plenty. I am not going to name them because I don't want to look like I am favoring anybody, but there are plenty of health systems that when you use, especially connect, be techie when it comes to your healthcare. Use their apps. Almost every healthcare system has some type of an interactive app that allows you to connect to their in to their um uh their system. And when you log in and sign up for that, they these these tools that are coming out are so much more advanced. They allow you, they will send you messages when your mammogram is due. And when you when they send it to you, they don't they don't only just send you your mammogram is due, you can press a button and schedule it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Right then and there. Right. So use that leverage what other people are paying for and other people are using. So choose the right healthcare system that has those resources available for you. There are multiple ones. Yes. I'm not saying that's do your research. Find ones that have good websites that are easy to navigate and have the ability for you to interact with them digitally, because that digital front door is key for you to have to make it easy, to make healthcare easy and accessible. And that's what people want, right? Prevention. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yeah. But prevention. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, because you're if you if you wait until you get the breast cancer because you didn't get the mammograms all in all that time, you're gonna lose so much more time and possibly your life. Yeah, and it's just not worth it. And I'm not, I'm not trying to like shame women who haven't done it. It's it, I get it. Ladies, I'm encouraging them. Yeah, yeah. And the other thing, don't be scared to start now. Yes. Because some people get, oh, I haven't gone in so long, and they just avoid it. Right. Don't be scared, go. No, no, it's never as bad as you think it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, and it's never too late. I mean, it's never ever, ever too late. Um, so that's that's how we deal with this time poverty. Time poverty. Time poverty. That's a whole new concept. I've never heard of it. Thank you for educating me and our audience. Um, okay. So we're at the close of of this particular um, I just lost my session. I'm gonna say session. Session, session. We've been providing you some therapy, hopefully. We in a way, we have. So um, as always, live your life on 10. Your 10. Bye bye.