Life on Ten
Dr. Vanessa Walker and Angela Trapp discuss how to live your life to your fullest and various issues that may get in the way of living a Life on Ten.
Life on Ten
Stop To Move Forward; A One-Minute Framework For Calm
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Want a calmer mind and a clearer path without adding another hour-long ritual to your day? We sat down with returning guest Jasmine Bailey, author of Healthy by Design, to unpack STOP—a four-part, one-minute framework that turns tiny pauses into real momentum. Think of it as a portable reset you can use between meetings, in the car, or right before bed to shift from frantic to focused.
We start with Silence and Stillness, pushing back on the January rush by taking 60 seconds to breathe and let the noise settle. Then we move into Thankfulness that’s grounded—not performative positivity, but a quick reframe that validates stress while spotlighting resources you can actually use. Openness to Curiosity comes next, replacing knee-jerk judgment with better questions that lower conflict, invite empathy, and open surprising solutions. Finally, Prioritize distills overwhelm into one move: what’s the next step? No dragging next Thursday into today—just the single action that restores presence and creates momentum.
Along the way, we talk about designing a life across six key areas—emotional, financial, physical, relational, spiritual, and vocational—and why a both-and mindset matters right now. You can care for yourself and show up for others. You can pause and still make progress. Whether you’re balancing family, work, or civic engagement, STOP gives you a simple, repeatable way to protect your energy and deepen your impact.
Try one letter today and notice what changes. If you want Jasmine’s free 11-minute walkthrough of the framework, email the word STOP to info@hbdbook.com. If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a breather, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find us.
Hello and welcome to Life on 10. Hello, friends and families. It is Angela and of course Vanessa. Hello, hello everyone. And let's see, it's still 2026.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, we have not lost an entire year. It is it is officially 2026. I know, I know, I know. We're good.
SPEAKER_02:Um, yeah, so um we did really well last time. It was we actually recorded um New Year's Eve, right? We did. We recorded New Year's Eve.
SPEAKER_00:And and guess what I did? I know I posted the episode YouTube. Oh my god. So it came out the first one of this season came out on January 1st, which is the first for me.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. Yeah, you're starting your 2026 off. Wow, very well. Yeah, totally well. You great job, great job.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you, thank you.
SPEAKER_02:Um, how was your trip to your favorite place in the entire world?
SPEAKER_00:It was amazing. We did Disney World and Universal Studios, super fun. We had the greatest time. My parents went with us. Um, it was a lot of walking, but they were like troopers and did the whole thing, and we all had a great time. It's it's fabulous.
SPEAKER_02:That is amazing. How long did you stay there? Um, 10 days. Wow.
SPEAKER_00:And you went to Disney World. We did the four parks at Disney World, and then we went to the Kennedy Space Center, and then we did um three days at the parks for Universal.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my gosh. I've never been to the Kennedy Space Center, even though I was born and raised in Miami.
SPEAKER_00:It is amazing. I had no idea how absolutely phenomenally cool that place is. Okay, like inspiring, and it made me feel I don't want, like I said, I we're I'm trying to not be too political, but it made me feel a little bit more like a proud American in a way that I haven't felt in a while. Well watching that amazingness.
SPEAKER_02:Let's hope it remains the Kennedy. Yeah, exactly. That's all I'm gonna say. Okay, all right, okay, so hey, we're super excited. Um, we have one of our guests, um, is a returning guest, and we are so happy to welcome Jasmine Bailey, the author of Healthy by Design. If you recall, audience, we spoke to Jasmine. I can't believe it. Jasmine, I think you said it's been a year. It has been.
SPEAKER_01:Has it been a year? Yes, last January. Yes. Oh, it was last January.
SPEAKER_02:It was last January.
SPEAKER_00:This is like the perfect follow-up.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I know. I was like, wow, yes.
SPEAKER_02:Whoa, whoa, okay, that was that was the universe because I had no idea. I had no idea. Well, you you you've been here before, Jasmine, so you know how we roll.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yes, yes. All the good things I'm I was clapping. I didn't want to make noise, but I was clapping like, ooh. Okay, you can clap.
SPEAKER_02:We're really we're we're we're we've just been here because I was we're not professional at all. No.
SPEAKER_01:I love it. I love it.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I'm excited to have you with us again, Jasmine. Um and Jasmine.
SPEAKER_01:I'm excited to be here.
SPEAKER_02:Awesome. Jasmine, tell us a little bit about just because some of the audience might be brand new and not know about the book and the the last interview that we did with you. So let's begin with just like a little short, you know, um little little snippet about the book and then this brand new framework based on the book that you're introducing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, thank you so much. So the book, Healthy by Design, was put together for my personal experience. And last year I launched the workbook. So I was explaining to you and your audience about it. It has six key areas: emotional, financial, physical, uh, relational, spiritual, and vocational, just big six key points or areas where a person can focus on and creating a life that's by design, not by default. Um so yeah, so coming back this year, while I have been working on pieces of that in my life without a uh workbook, going through the workbook for 2025 for me, that's what you just mentioned, the framework. It helped me see like, wait, this is not simply a workbook where people can, you know, oh, you can have this book and then you can do these things and yeah, it'll be fun. It really slowed me down to see like I don't need any more additional information, so to speak. And Dr. Um the Vanessa, when she said her feeling she didn't want to become political, but she felt like a proud, you know, that proud American that she used to feel, it kind of compasses that. Yeah, it compasses that where it allows us to pause to say, you know what, this is important. And instead of just having uh monumentous uh events, it's having meaning meaningful events. So uh the workbook itself is not some type of uh magical, mystical thing, it's really a meaningful piece where a person can have a space for themselves. And what we're talking about, I remember last year we were like, okay, there's gonna be a lot that we just don't know about because of the way that the political landscape and things that were coming. Yes, and it was like people needed a space to uh process that, but now a year later, boy, I processed a lot of things.
SPEAKER_02:Um, I'm processing every day.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly, exactly, exactly. So, really, it gives people a space to process. It's not a you have to do it this way, really uh judgmental or am I doing it the right way? What I realize even in my life, and you ladies can attest to this too. Sometimes we are so conditioned to do things, quote unquote, a certain way, and we're so focused on am I doing it right? Is this the right way to do it? Sometimes we just need the release and the space to to breathe and to have our thoughts and not concern ourselves with doing it right or wrong, yeah, but like being in the moment.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, being being in the flow. So um tell so so the framework is titled Stop. It's an acronym for STOP. Yes. All right, so let's go to the letters. What is the S for?
SPEAKER_01:So the S is for silence and stillness. So when you think about even at the beginning of a year, what is everybody doing? New Year's resolutions, goals, what are we gonna do? Like, okay, Q1, let's get ready, let's get ready. Or people have been preparing, like this year's gonna be the best year. Silence and stillness is sometimes what we need before uh going off to the races.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. Okay, and this silence, and I I do practice um being in the silence. And what I found is that when I do, I tap into my creative mind. Um when I exercise, I do sometimes I'm exercising with music and sometimes I'm exercising with no music. And when I exercise with zero music, I really do tap into that creative part. Um I like to say I become just the universe is accompanying me in that process. And I create, I create and I think and I solve problems. So I'm all about the silence. I know how empowering it can be. Are you in this process? Are you staying in the silence for a certain amount of time or does it matter?
SPEAKER_01:Thank you for saying that. Thank you. I was just gonna say the interesting part about this framework, every letter is just one minute because this is what I created. Um, not just created, this is what I found. We are so busy. Yeah. Once I realize, like, okay, again, this workbook isn't for someone just to have um uh a magical moment, and I don't have anything wrong with saying magical moments, because you know we have those, but I realize sometimes we're so so focused on having something that is so big and so monumentous that we don't just enjoy the moment. So, and then we have so much going on that if someone says, okay, you have to meditate for one hour, it's like, yeah, it's not gonna happen. Yeah, it's not gonna happen. It's not definitely not for me.
SPEAKER_00:It's not meditating, not gonna meditate for a minute.
SPEAKER_01:And I mean, you can grow into the grow into that, but what I realized, yeah, one minute of silence, literally, I started doing that 60 seconds of silence. I would tell people, your mind may go all over the place. I would have to cut it down to 30 minutes at first, excuse me, 30 minutes, 30 seconds, just so people won't be like, oh my goodness, what's going on? Because we're not accustomed to it. You know what I mean? If we stop for 60 seconds now, people would be like, Okay, are they coming back? Are they coming back? Isn't that crazy? Yeah, so just making it simple enough where one minute, 60 seconds, a person can stop and be silent and still. And then we go to the next items because you don't have to even do them all in order. I know we stopped at the S, but we can go through it. You can pick what you need. So if you want me to, I can go to through the other three letters and then you can pick apart or just ask about anything that you want from the.
SPEAKER_02:Well, let's let's, for the sake of the show, let's go in order. So I'm on T now. What is T represent? Yes, we'll go on T. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:So thankfulness.
unknown:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:For one minute, think about things. I know we can complain. I have a a note that I or a frame that I'm looking at right now. It says encourage instead of complain. While I know it's a lot going on, while I know there, this is not uh toxic positivity, positivity either. Yes, we can acknowledge things, but what I realize giving my brain the opportunity to say, yeah, I'm tired, but I'm grateful that I have a bed to sleep in. Yeah. Yes, there's a lot going on, but I'm glad I get to opt in and opt out of what I like to look at and what I like, you know, um not to be a part of right now. And I think it really started for me where I have different projects that I do outside of my nine to five job. And I was just like, oh, this is extra. So when I felt like, man, I have a lot going on, I was like, wow, I really don't have to be doing any of this. I became thankful to say, like, oh, I get if I wanted to stop this right now, I can stop it. So my extra quote unquote overwhelm, and I don't want to minimize where people are having overwhelm, but your brain gets a release when you're able to say, you know what? I'm grateful that I can breathe in. You know, I'm grateful that I can breathe out. Yeah. Absolutely. So that's the thankful, yes, that's the thankfulness.
SPEAKER_00:And it's not minimizing because a lot of times, you know, people think, well, are you minimize? You know, like if my kids are complaining about the food, I'm like, well, there are starving children all over the world. You need to just eat this food, right? You know, people what do you have to feel sad about? There are always there's always somebody worse off than you. Yeah. Like there's there's always somebody worse off than you for the most part, right? And so but if you measure your suffering against that, then it completely minimizes and invalidates who you are and what you're feeling as a person, which is not going to be good either, right? That's not the good part of that. Yeah, exactly. So it's that recognition of you, yes, like I am struggling with this right now, and these are all the things that are in my life that I can be grateful for so that I can better struggle.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That I I love that you said that because that's exactly it. It's not about invalidating somebody's feelings. It's oh, you know, I'm glad that I'm thankful that I have food that I don't want to eat. Because to your point, there are people, they eat it because if I don't eat this, there won't be anything else. You know what I mean? Like, that's it. So I'm I'm grateful that I know that there is another option. Um, yeah. But you know, like you said, but I'm not gonna invalidate, like, but I still am not gonna eat these Brussels sprouts or these peas.
SPEAKER_02:I can be thankful and still not like Brussels sprouts exactly. Exactly. I love Brussels sprouts. Y'all are crazy. I do too. I do. But I thought when I was younger, I didn't. No, it had to be made right with bacon. Oh my god. I love it.
unknown:Me too.
SPEAKER_02:Uh so where does that bring us? That brings us to O.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. It brings us to O. So O is being open to curiosity. After we're being thankful, again, these flowed in a way where I was just like, what will it take to really stop? Meaning, sometimes we're so bent on the negative and on what we don't have or what we don't know. It can be this how this is how I it started happening for me. Wow, I wonder what I don't know about this situation. You know, instead of going right into um judgment or criticism or things of that nature, it's like, wow, because that's the thing. There is a picture of Prince uh William, and he has one of his fingers up, and it looks like he's giving the middle finger from the position, yes, that he's um he's been shown. But when you go to the other side, um that's not what he's doing at all. Yeah. And being open to curiosity, oh, I had this with one um some other group of women that I ran a workshop for, and I just had them all go around the room because it could be something that we have going on in our life. Let's be honest. Everything that's going on in our current political um society, let's use a real example, just to be and to say, Well, I wonder how people really come to these conclusions. Yeah, I'm wondering what's really going on at the core of who they are. I wonder who hurt them. Yeah. Because it's gotta be some type of deep wound that will cause somebody to inflict that much pain on somebody. You know what I mean? Like just change the not defy or not giving people excuses or any of that. It's like, I wonder who hurt that person because that much hurt, it's not healing that's allowing that person to think, to say, to do, or to act the back, you know, in that nature. And even the mothers that we had, I remember we did a field trip last year, and we we went through the open of curiosity, and a couple of the mothers shared some things where they were wondering, like, why is it so hard for just certain things? And then when we went through the field trip, and it was like jackets for jobs where it helped people get things for um for positions. Yeah. Like blazers, like blazers to where it is. And outfits, yeah, this outfits to our interview. Um in the in the not the interview, but in the um the time that they were there, there were things that happened where um the coordinator gave me information to possibly get them jobs and connections to jobs. And then afterwards, I was just like, you know what, that's what being open to curiosity is. It's not just what you said with thankfulness, not diminishing our questions, but asking them with a thought process of like, what don't I know? What don't I know about this situation? What could be different about this situation? And it's not for us to change the other person, it's to change our perspective. Yeah. Instead of me shutting down and say, like, they don't know what they're talking about, they don't know what they're doing. It's like, I wonder what they their experience has been to this point. So just being open to curiosity, and curiosity, it provides a layer of openness that allows you to move towards a person versus being judgmental and shutting down. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:100 100%, 100%. I say that all the time. Oh yeah, yeah. Curiosity versus a judgment because it leaves you open and and um yeah, check the check the judgment at the door and be curious. And uh you said that so beautiful, so eloquently and so appropriately beautiful about where we are right now, and and trying to see um that that person is in pain and must be in so much, so much pain. That takes work to see past that. Um I feel like I'm always working towards that. I'm always trying to find the good in people. It's just a little bit more challenging right now, but I haven't given up.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, most definitely, most definitely. And if I could say something to that, because what you just said, I don't want to say it selfishly. And at the same time, what I realize from it is that it can help us see the person from a different perspective, and at the same time, it helps us to lift a heaviness that we carry when we're trying to or when we're struggling. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah. Meaning, like, yeah, because so many times it's like you can spiral down trying to figure it out or trying to make it make sense. And it's just like, you know what? That's why like the stopping is okay, I may not understand this, but it gives you an important uh moment to breathe. And with that little breath, that's where you can at least come up for air so that you're not feeling overwhelmed or just drowning. And to give yourself that peace that you need, because there is one thing that the openness helps, I believe, people, the capacity that you have to give yourself, that compassion that you can give to yourself, the kindness, the rest, or the, you know, just the pause that you can give to yourself, that's how you'll then have capacity to be there for somebody else. And I'm not saying to be there and being the rah-rah or you know, the cheerleader. It's just like I have capacity now because I gave myself, you know, that room.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, that margin. You can give others grace. Okay, so what about our P? What's the last one? P, what does that stand for?
SPEAKER_01:The P I love. It's just it stands and simply for prioritize. And this is the question that you can ask. What's the next step? What do I need to do next? And this is how this came about for me. I have things that I do, and like again, projects, and I'm doing multiple things, and I could be in to next Thursday and it's Wednesday, or it's Monday of this week. And then one thing came to me, it was just like, Do you have to do that now? And I was like, No, I don't have to do that now. And it was like, Whoo! Yes, it still has to get done, uh huh. But it was Like it doesn't have to get done today. So it was almost like I was carrying the load for Thursday of next week today. Yes. So I was like, let's put that down. Yeah. What do I have to do next? Ah, I have to get up and clean my desk. Oh, I need to eat. Oh, I'm gonna take a nap. And it may seem like it's trivial, but I promise you, I will ask your listeners and even you two to give yourself like what, like even after this interview, what do you have to do next? Instead of like tomorrow I have to do on Saturday, we're going to the on Sunday, we're doing the, and even if you haven't applied something, it's what do I have to do next? Oh, I'm gonna get ready for bed and I'm gonna be fully present to go to bed. And it may seem, yes, it may seem like these things are so simple, but that's what I realized. I'm like, oh, I'm trying to make things so complicated and so complex when I let go of even an hour from now, and I'm not saying for people who have to plan, who have to prepare, not to care, it's just not bringing that energy of worry into right now. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:There, there's a saying I can't I don't know exactly, but it's something like borrowing tomorrow's problems or something like that, right? I yeah, I can't remember. Yeah, yeah. This is this is beautiful. I the P is um very powerful in the sense of it's it's it's inviting you to be present. That's what it is. It's calling you out to be present. And being present is is focusing on what is in front of you, what is yours to do, what is priority for you. Because what happens, we do this is we can be engaged in a conversation with someone, and we're not fully present for them because we're thinking about all the things that we have to do, yeah, or say in the conversation, or or you're you're not focusing on that person's story because you're thinking about how you can solve their problem or what you're going to say next.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly, exactly, exactly. And we're not able to be present. And if if we think about all of the people that we have around us, if we're not able to be present in that moment, we just have people's bodies, but we're not connected. You know, like everybody, they're not even, they're not there in the sense of them fully being there. So that's why we have so many surface level connections when we're touching base with people, because I'm looking over your shoulder to see, oh, I need to speak to that person, completely ignoring you. So the the silence and the stillness, it invites you for calm and invites um that peace that you may need. And that's why I said we went through all of them, the silence and stillness, thankfulness, being open to curiosity, and then prioritize, or yes, the priority uh powerful move. But a person can say, like, pick anyone. I wanted to make it so simple. Sometimes we just have to be thankful. You know what I mean? Like in the moment, so you can pick any of them. I didn't want it to be so complex, where okay, what do I have to do next? And then the beautiful part about it is stopping that encompasses all what you can do to stop. So think about when people say my mind was racing. There's so much going on, but if we just take a pause of stopping and silence, and the one thing that I wanted to give people is that it's free. You know, none of this, like, oh, well, I have to go, I have to do this, I have to do that. It's like, no, you have all of this in the comfort of your own um your own personhood, you know?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. You can do this in your car, in your office, in your house, whatever you're you're doing.
SPEAKER_02:Um and you can do it any way you want. It's like, what do you need in in the in that moment? Is it thankfulness? Is it is it is it is it um prioritizing? Yeah, prioritizing. Exactly. So it doesn't have to be, it's not like in order. It's like, what do I need in this moment? Okay, I like I like that. I like this, and I like this because um where we are right now, I feel like there's so many different things, there's so many different ways to to navigate this and keep our sanity. Um, and one of those ways is to actually, yes, of course, be active, you know, whatever that looks like for you. Um I'm not making it political, but I have to say it. Um, you know, reaching out to your congressmen, your senators, protesting, and also taking care of yourself. And I feel like this is something that uh everyone could use, you know, to pause and use this to to to navigate this. Like, yeah, there's so much emotion and angst and anxiety that people are experiencing right now. When you talk to me about and shared um the stop framework, that's what I thought of. I was like, this is another resource, this is another way to move through this.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. Because you know, one thing that you're saying, I want people to hear. I am a believer of both and. So even when we say stop, please have, you know, people know we want to be active, we want people to stand up for justice and inequities. And the person that's doing that, they still need to stop to be able to have the bandwidth to do that. So I think sometimes we think in either or. So it's like, yes, in order to continue to move forward, sometimes we have to stop. That's the that's the irony of it. And that's what I really want people to hear. That's why I said it it was for busy professional women, it because it's like we're still gonna be busy, but what do we do in our busyness? So I love that you brought that up because we live in a society where I think it's all or nothing, boom or bust, you know. Yeah, and it's like, no, we need people out on the front lines. We just know those people on the front lines. Remember when COVID happened, what those frontline workers, those were the people that we needed to keep going. So they needed to take care of themselves. So it's just a nice okay. How do we do that? Yes, yes, yes. So I'm so grateful that you brought that up.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely. Um, wow, this is fantastic, Jasperette. Absolutely. Um, we appreciate you joining us and sharing this with us. Stop this framework. We're going to put all of your information, as always, in um in uh the podcast description. We can put your contact information in there. Um, is there anything else you want to share a website or something that you have before we let you go with the audience?
SPEAKER_01:This is what I would like to share with your audience. I created the framework. It's an 11-minute video, but it's only walking people through. So if your audience wants to have the framework for free, they can email the word stop to info at hbdbook. I'll get that to you.com and then it'll go right to them. So they just have to email the word stop to that email address, and I'll get that email address to you. Awesome.
SPEAKER_02:Wonderful, wonderful. We will definitely put that in the description of the podcast. It's always nice to have you on the show, Jasmine. We appreciate you both. Awesome. Take care. Thank you again, and friends and family, as always, live your life on 10. Your 10. Bye bye.